WARNING- Alex is analyzing stuff and purely letting out her feelings- these are by no means hard core facts!!

It is the most frustrating and depressing feeling to have a job which is in theory important, and could help lots of youngsters in their future lives and professions. But for so many days and parts of days I am literally like a book on a shelf in the staffroom. There is a lot to be learned from the book but if it is not opened and used, then it is useless and just remains static and collects dust. I’m collecting dust by sitting on my backside doing NOTHING for 8 hours in a day. Some people don’t mind being paid to go to work, sit around, read a book, use the internet, watch movies on their laptops and drink coffee. But I’m not one of those people. I like to have a purpose. I like to have responsibility and a certain level of stress placed upon me. I feel that slowly my brain is turning to mush here. I hardly use any skills or knowledge. Why should I care if I am getting paid and leaving so soon? I suppose I shouldn’t…but I do. Money is being spent on me and I am an unused resource. Millions of children are dying in the world from a lack of care and education. I could be doing things one hundred times more worthwhile, and helping people who actually want to be helped. It appears that the Japanese schools want ALTs simply to be seen as in touch with the west and caring about internationalization. When the truth is, Japan is very happy with being an outsider. They don’t want to integrate with the rest of the world. Japanese people (a generalization maybe) are proud of their nation and their society. I’m not saying this is a bad thing or that they should not be proud, but they sometimes appear to view themselves on one step higher on the ladder. Their pride can sometimes be a little arrogant and narrow minded (once again I am generalizing and these are entirely my perceptions). They know that they work incredibly insane hours for fifty years of their lives and they study extremely long hours at school. I think that they do equate this with being superior in some respects, but the debate is, are they really? Yes they have a lower crime rate and fewer social ills to most developed countries, but the controlled and robotic society is sometimes depressing. I see things from the perspective of a person educated in a society were individualism is promoted and work is seen as something one does to get money to live. In Japan living is something we do so that we work. There is little time for anything else, and people, on the outside, do not appear to mind this. But are appearances deceptive? Are we just very different cultures with very different perceptions and ideologies about what life is and what it means to be a human being in a society? Do Japanese people get pleasure and fulfillment from working to help the society and community grow, whereas I am from a more selfish society which wants individual successes and greater material rewards? I find it really interesting that sociological and cultural variables are so affective. I am in no way saying that I and my culture are better than the Japanese way of living. I have no right and no evidence to prove that. But this experience in Japan has really allowed me to analyze my own views and understanding of this thing called life, and realize that humans really are very different from one another.