StoRieS oF a GaiJiN

WHAT I HAVE LEARNT SO FAR IN NIPPON....

how to enjoy 'the natures'- changing colour of the leaves and cherry blossom viewing especially
how to drive an automatic- its pants
how to say 'cute' in the most annoying way possible
how to throw a round plastic disc around a field
how to teach better than i did...i hope
how to speak in katakana engrish
how to walk like a penguin
how to clean a bathroom properly
how to pretend i understand what people are saying
how to pray at a shrine
how to sleep on a futon
how to plant rice
how to make soba-ish
how to slurp
how to grunt unnecessarily to show i'm attentive to the person talking
how to bow
how to make and drink japanese tea- kind of
how to do taiko
how to eat japanese food- and how to know what japanese food to avoid
how to use chopsticks
how to use a rice cooker
how to speak and read sukoshi nihon-go

Amazed, dazed and confused

Although I have lived in Japan for 9mths now, I’m still nowhere near use to the culture here. Everyday I’m still aggravated and amazed by things. - teachers never taking time off but saying they are tired and need a break - people are overly polite in conversation and use the most confusing honorific speech, but they can also be quite rude. I.e. Never holding doors open for one another, barging past, pushing people out of the way, not making eye contact with each other, no respect for privacy, no awareness of others whilst walking or driving…. - Eating manners from a western point of view are appalling! Slurping, sniffing, scoffing, spitting, gurgling and talking with food in their mouths- all completely acceptable and witnessed at every meal time. i will never be accustomed to these! - At my enkai the teachers seemed to suddenly act like teenagers. It was though they have been so repressed, and been made to conform in society to such an extent, that when they are given a small chance to let their hair down, they go over the top. Is this why so many adults as well as children are obsessed with Disney characters? Their childhoods were so controlled and they were made to work so hard, that it is only as adults they can enjoy such things? - You can never tell whether they are being genuine in their comments. Once again this is because of the over politeness. - Old men having certain rights over all other people and demanding respect. It is so funny to watch old men in social situations as they do whatever the hell they like. Fart, burp, order people about, ignore others etc!

Gangs..

As i walk down a dimly lit path infront of me i see a group of teenage boys. All dressed in the universal baggy trousers, baseball caps and hoodies. What social ill are these boys performing? drug dealing, graffiti, robbery? dont make eye contact. dont make yourself seen. But wait a minute... these boys are japanese! Drug dealing! Graffiti! Robbery! I think not. With their homework hanging out of their bags, these boys are having a super evening socialising with their chums and learning to juggle and perform other such tricks and stunts! Theyll be home by 10pm to study and get a good nights sleep. Good old Nipon.

JAPANESE DRIVERS

ok, i have been ranting quite a bit recently but i feel that: a) all my rants are legitimate b) this is a good way of venting my frustrations c) japan can be very frustrating!!! But this is going to be a proper rant. i cannot hold myself back any longer from discussing the issue of RUBBISH AWFUL STUPID UNAWARE SLOW japanese drivers. of course i dont want to use the stereotyping stick here, but i have to say that the vast majority of japanese people are horrendous drivers. i wont make this rant too long but here is a little insight... 1) never using mirrors- apart from to assess makeup and hair 2) pulling out of junctions whether it is clear to do so or not 3) using red lights as a suggestion rather than a command 4) their delight in trying to kill cyclists 5) driving so slowly- ok i know the speed limit is low but it is still a huge annoyance 6) taking at least 1minute to put a car into gear (baring in mind all cars are automatic here too) and actually move when a red light changes. 7) using both lanes to dordle along and travel stupidly slowly 8) parking wher ever they feel like it - usually next to vending machines or at particularly dangerous junctions. 9) being unaware of the new addition of indicators to cars nowadays 10) driving half in your lane 11) having stupid OTT decorations on the dashboard 12) believing they drive tanks and therefore cannot park or fit through normal size car gaps ok i'll stop, but just so you know, i could continue. I asked a japanese person about their driving. They said that it takes people 1mth to learn to drive. it is not difficult to obtain a license. I should point out that Fukui has the highest traffic accident rate and so maybe the rest of japan is different but from what i have seen, i'll be lucky to survive the year without an accident or fatal injury lots of love kisse hugs and happy things